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| Sarong One Piece |
I have been feeling down for about a week. It has affected my eating. I just was not in the mood to keep track. I did not post though because I felt I would just have a pity party and not work through the problems. I also had doubt thoughts about posting. I just need to really accept that this blog is about me and mostly for myself. I can not compare myself to other bloggers in ways that make me feel unworthy or stupid. I know I have mentioned this in other posts. It just keeps cycling through my mind. I am just trying to replace the thoughts with: "This is my journey, be proud!".
I need to work on my weekend eating. The main problem is that most of the things I do on the weekend center around food in some fashion. Dinner and a movie. Lunch out with my mom. Breakfast run before grocery shopping. Heck even the Step Out walk ended with a bunch of different options for free food. (Bagels, chips, yogurt, fruit, and drinks) Any suggestions to help me?
I requested my medical records from my doctor to see my weight history. The lowest recorded weight in the records I got was 274 in May of 2005. It is quite interesting to realize that I will be at my lowest weight in 6 years. I think this is a also a factor in my thoughts and problems the past 2 weeks. I need to figure out who I am. I am not only changing physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
I wrote a poem back in high school or college that still rings true for me. I did make 3 line changes to make it about being healthier.
In the beginning there was only me
but now that is not to be.
I AM
daughter, sister, student
friend, lover, teacher
and others I do not name.
BUT AM I
Healthy or prone to sickness?
but now that is not to be.
I AM
daughter, sister, student
friend, lover, teacher
and others I do not name.
BUT AM I
Healthy or prone to sickness?
Weak or strong?
or other labels I do not name?
Of this I must know.
Because In the end
I am just me
On this new beginning
Of this I must know.
Because In the end
I am just me
On this new beginning
Free food is hard to ignore. I think we are programmed that if it is free, we should take it, no matter what. Today, my professor brought coffee and doughnuts for us while we were taking our final exam. I could have chosen the "cake" style, but no, I went for the raspberry filled glazed thing -- KNOWING that I shouldn't have. Not having a doughnut at all simply never crossed my mind. And don't even get me started on how I can eat free breadsticks at Joe B's. Sad, isn't it?
ReplyDeleteThe things I have been trying, with some success and some failure, I have to admit, is drinking lots of water and trying to select something with many small parts. Like popcorn or grapes or something - so I can eat a little bit over a long period of time instead of trying to go for the glut.
As for weekend things, I completely understand. My off time is the worst, and that's not just weekends but also afternoons and any other time I have off. I'm a really social eater - I like eating with people, because it's a guaranteed hour that we can sit an chit chat. Maybe consider making a list of the non-food related things that you enjoy doing in your off time and try to stick with those for your social times with mom or whatever. Sometimes just doing something like going to the Arboretum (not necessarily to walk, but just to sit and enjoy the scenery). My other biggest problem, other than the food thing, is that I over-spend on weekends - when I go out, I spend money. So something that is inexpensive or free is always a nice idea. Sometimes the library has movie events, or there is the UK art museum - even (shudder) going to the mall is kind of fun, once a year or so. If you can't find people that want to do those things, you can grab me on a Sunday and we can try some of it together if you like.
@-J My work had brownies and peanut butter bars to celebrate the birthdays in June. I only had a brownie and not both.
ReplyDeleteI am hit and miss with the water. For me sunflower seeds in the shell can be lots of work for a good snack.
Since I am not eating fast food as much my money is being spent when I go out 'window shopping'. I totally understand about overspending.
Thank you for the great ideas and I would love to get together some Sunday and hang out. I check the calendar for KY/Lexington and some of the free monthly magazines for free things. This Sunday there is a free yoga class at Lex Healing Arts Academy that I think might be fun.